I think I may have figured out something regarding the high marriage failure rate; here in the US anyway. To explain my thought I’d like to first go back to my impression of my wife’s family and culture.
My wife is from China. When I first married her I was under the assumption that there were some differences between people of the Unites States and people from China, but overall we had the same basic human understanding of the world around us so the difference wouldn’t be too great. While some components of this are correct, for the most part my understanding was grossly inaccurate. When I first met her parents I did everything wrong, but the biggest thing I screwed up on was dismissing how important the family was in Chinese culture. It is my general understanding that in China you never dismiss your family. By this I mean that retirement homes are virtually non existent or when a child goes to college it is perfectly acceptable if not encouraged that they attend a university that is close to home.
To contrast Ive found that, at least with my family, we have very much said good by and good luck. If you ask my mother she might say something different, but this is the overall impression I’m left with.
To get to the point, I believe this stand alone complex we have is one of the things that discourages or inhibits longevity in marriage.It seems to me that relationships are easier to manage if there are outside parties helping the couple work through their differences. We have a lack of this in our relationship which is why it becomes very difficult at times. This seems to be especially true when children are introduced into a family. Overall, I just think people should support their friends and family more here in the States.